Of wishes, witches and city watches
by PageofNonsense
Summary: Something appeared in Ankh-Morpork, something that threatens mankind...Especially children. And when sir Vimes himself is overwhelmed, you know something is going very, very wrong. (Rated T for explicit violence (against a non-human), non-visual death and implied child death. Is T even high enough?) This is my first attempt at fanfiction, so feel free to comment and/or criticize!


There was a punch, and the sound of something breaking. In the City Watch's local, a few heads turned around. Unlike the patrician, they never saw their boss that angry before...And perhaps,this time, even he did not.

"Vimes is really going spare, isn't he?

-...Can't say I don't get why. All of these crimes happening, and we can't do a thing. For the first time, Sir Samuel Vimes (*the voice expressed an immense amount of respect while pronouncing that name*) cannot fight crime. It looks more like crime is fighting him."

And boy did Samuel Vimes have reasons to be angry. It was not just crime. Not even just unsolvable crime, either...

6:10 pm. The last words from 'where is my cow' were read...

"Papa? Why do you look so sad?"

The copper, which also happened to be one of the highest ranking nobles of Ankh-Morpork*, took his son in the arms and hugged him fiercely.

"Don't worry. I'll be there for you, okay?"

With these words spoken, he put the child in bed and left the room. Only to bump straight into his wife.

"Sybil?

-Look. Usually I just let you the time to open up but...I can't let this continue. For months now, something has been breaking you. Eating you from the inside. I know you. Know when you want to cry, and when you want to scream (*The Duchess of Ankh-Morpork smiled palely*) though I only need good ears to know that last one. You used to love your work. But now...For months, something has been happening. And I need to know what.

-I cannot...I do not want to…"

And at that point, his voice was not the one most knew. The wrath was still there. The beast never truly slept. But topping it, englobing it, was an onion of stronger feelings. Anxiety. Fatigue. Despair. He had stopped talking. Even to his own wife, Samuel Vimes did not have the heart to describe what he saw.

But then, he realized as he looked in her eyes. Lady Sybil's eyes were equally filled with anxiousness and...Anger. Not towards him, mind you.** But he felt he could no longer keep her in the dark.

"Several months ago, something arrived in the city. I am certain of it. Something that twists men horrifyingly. A wave of heinous crime started to happen. People die, all kinds of people. But it's not just that. I've seen many kinds of death, many kinds of crime. But most of the victims here...Are children. Little girls,mostly. The only thing I can do is pick up their dead , horribly broken bodies. And see my failure. And wonder...How long, until that thing reaches...?

-...Oh. You know, perhaps I...should pull some strings, for once. I know many people. Some mages, even."

His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes, father of the honorable young Sam, didn't pipe a word.

Meanwhile, in another part of the city, **D****EATH** was doing his*** job. He picked up the girl's soul, while staring at her life hourglass. It was still mostly full.

"**T****HIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIVING FOR MANY MORE YEARS.**"

The girl didn't speak up, simply crying and looking at the carnage that was her deathbed. Uneasily, but gently, the personification papped on her shoulder.

"**T****HERE,THERE**."

Continuity had been rewritten, without anyone's accord. And it made little children suffer. There were rules. And not only had they been broken, but they had been in a way even he couldn't tolerate. In **DEATH**'s empty eye socket, even a blind man would have seen rage.

**"J****UST...GET ON THE HORSE. I SHALL GET THIS MESS CLEANED UP IN NO TIME."**

Some time later, in a poor part of Ankh-Morpork, a small, white and pink fuzzball was speaking to a little girl.

"Sign the contract with me. Then, I'll grant you one wish. In exchange, you will work for me. But the wish can be anything you want, child.

-Even bringing back the dead?

-...No. That is the one thing I cannot do. But everything else is fair game.

-Then...I demand a contract. My wish...Save my dying parents.

-The wish is granted. Receive your soul gem, magical girl, and take good care of it. It is the source of your power."

As her parent's wounds disappeared, she could hear a scream.

"There it is, my hunt!"

The bolt was shot, and narrowly missed the creature. Archmage Ridcully*** reloaded his crossbow. And while he was doing that...A man in arms simply charged. Samuel Vimes punched the creature with all of his might, and all of his rage. Then, he pulled out his sword, only to stop when he barely avoided decapitating a child.

"Stop! Why are you hurting Kyubey? He's nice! He saved my parents and...

-He granted you a wish? Damn! We're too late...Kid... (*He stared into the trembling child's eyes) I'm Samuel Vimes, commander of the Watch. I once arrested a dragon and two armies. I once arrested Veterini himself. I carry the law with me like a lantern. My role is to make sure that at least around here, justice isn't an empty word. And this...Thing (the word seemed to carry all of a world's hatred and disgust) hurts little girls like you. Just go home. Children shouldn't have to fight monsters.

-How can you even see me, mister Vimes…(Through all of this, the Incubator had kept his creepy cat smile and impassive eyes.)

-I got some...Personal help.

The summoning dark's sigil flared on his hand. It managed to look like a threat to the alien. In the meantime, the archmage had finished reloading, and was calmly waiting for a line of fire to open itself. He did not use magic. Better not to encourage continununuum or whatever the kids from the High Energy Buildings said, to blow you into the face.

Maybe it wasn't Carrot's perfect blade, but sir Vimes follow the rules. So he kept his sword sharp. "If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to _know_ you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll watch you _squirm_. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word." That, the copper had known for years. And unfortunately for Kyubey, sir Samuel Vimes was a choirboy. His blade aimed straight for his enemy's midsection. The strange, cat-looking thing tried dodging, but merely limited the damage to a leg sawed off. Kyubey made a run for it on its three remaining legsnd seemingly managed to get away. And then something bolted from the shadows, and there was a sound of broken bones.

What looked like a wolf appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. But Vimes knew better.

"Good work, sergeant Angua. Go get some rest...We all need some rest. Tell the men they're all in permission for the day...No, let's say for the next two days. Yes, even Nobbs and Colon."

The werewolf went off, and a man got in. Tall,

"Sir...Isn't it time you followed your own advice?

-Carrot...This city needs me. If I stop to rest, who knows what could happen?

-For once, I'd say Ankh-Morpork deserves to be given some free reign, sir. It wasn't only the watch that worked here. The whole city did. Without all of their contribution, understanding all of this and getting the culprit...So much time would have been wasted.

-But...

-Also, sir...It's been two weeks that we are on this, almost non-stop. When is the last time you slept?

-Let me think, it must have been...Four days ago?

-No, sir. Four days ago you just fell limp on a wall and napped for a few hours. For two weeks, aside from the times when you fell from exhaustion, the only moments when you stopped was to do your daily reading to the young Sam.

-(The Watch's commander smiled slightly) Still counts.

-Oh and...Sorry sir to bring that, sir, but...You stink.

-Oh, fine.

And they left. But the show was not over yet. A new iteration of the alien butted into the city, ready for more action. Contracts needed to be signed. The universe needed that energy. And then...

"I wouldn't do that if I were you.

-Sheesh, how do you people keep seeing me?

-Oh, I don't. But I do not need to. I only need to be good at...Logic. But anyhow. I'll make it clear. In my city, you do not have your place. Nor in this world, either. So either you get out forever or next time, I will find you myself. And trust, me, I will find a way to solve the problem...Permanently."

So the incubator went out, never to come back. Yet, it still was not over.

"**T****HIS IS MOST IRREGULAR**.

-Yes. But I told the universe it wasn't fair. And from what I understood, its answer was 'Well then, have it your way'. Plus...(*She dared to add in a humble voice, and the way she serenely gazed into **D****EATH**'s 'eyes' clearly indicated she felt no fear.*) I believe it already was from the start, right?

-(*Death faced the one who, while crossing the multiverse barrier, took back her original form for a while. If he were able to, he would probably smile at the pink-clad girl*) **T****HAT IS CORRECT. AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY ARE ALL HERE, EXCEPT FOR THE...FRESHEST ONE**.

-Indeed. I shall now end this crisis, and you won't hear of us anymore. Farewell."

The self-made goddess of magical girls had one last act to go through. With a crowd of young spirits following her, she left **D****EATH**'s cottage.***** She got to that strange world resting on four elephants. And more precisely to its biggest city, the only one the incubators deemed worthy of their attention.

The girl had reached her breaking point. She witnessed the last of her ken fall. She understood the future of those that had made her choice. Her soul gem darkened while tears flowed for the last time. Then, it cracked. And broke. But instead of the emergence of a grief seed, instead of turning, she...Saw something else. A strange presence. Clad in pink, and looking no older than her, aside from her eyes, that added years, decades perhaps, to her age. Her presence felt out of place and yet...Somehow, it was familiar. And the goddess spoke, her voice soothing the pain of the lost child.

"Your time has come. Now follow me.

-Where...are we going?

-To a better place."

A shiver seemed to go through the ascended magical girl's spine as she feared having thought wrong. Madoka gave the city one last stare, mentally thanking those that were able to stop the plague of Witches and limit the losses, be it the Watch or the citizen...Or than man, going back to his office. His oblong office."Homura...I'm counting on you." The rift opened itself, testimony of the black-haired girl's power. Once she did not have to go back in time to save her friend, the nature of her wish made it so that she could save her. Throughout space. The goddess went through, and followed the spirits that would be given a place to rest. And for two days, Ankh-Morpork stood still, mourning as well as celebrating something it did not truly understand. Even sausages in a bun sold well.

*To his utter dismay

**Yes, somehow Samuel Vimes knows whether his wife's anger is directed against him...Or isn't. It's a married couple thing.

***Do I really need to comment on this?

****One could think this would have demanded a lot of string pulling to get someone like him. But then again, one should think this was a hunt.

*****Yes. Death has a cottage. Sure, the apple trees were black, as was the grass and the sky and almost everything else, and it had immense rooms including one filled with self-filling books and hourglasses, but a cottage nontheless.

Author's note : This is just a strange thing I did on an impulse after being depressed from watching a certain anime serie. It's pure crack, and it's probably not even fully in-character. I hope you were at least able to enjoy it, you on the other side of the fourth wall. Also, please consider that this is literally my first fanfic ever. So feel free to criticize, but please don't hate me too much.

Finally,to clear the most obvious issues...This is fanfiction. I do not own Discworld nor Puella Magica Madoka. Which is probably for the best considering my poor writing skills...

Have a nice day.

PoN.


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